Baby Shower Invitations and Etiquette
Baby Shower Etiquette: From Invitations to Gifts
Timing of the Baby Shower
When is it too early and when could it be too late? Planning a baby shower is an exciting undertaking that usually results in a lot of "oooohing" and "aaaahing", but you want to be sure that baby is on his or her way - no more, no less. It is safe to schedule the baby shower anywhere between 1 and 3 months before the baby is due. Check with the mother-to-be on her availability and how she is feeling. Some pregnant mothers have better months than others. It's also wise not to schedule the shower too close to the baby's due date, since the baby may arrive early and the mother-to-be may not feel very energetic as her due date approaches. This also allows plenty of time for the parents-to-be to determine what items they need and want, and to complete a baby registry if they desire.
It is also perfectly acceptable (and in some communities, expected) to plan the baby shower for after the baby arrives. Called a “welcoming shower,” it takes the guesswork out of colors and styles for clothing, and can be a wonderful way to introduce the baby to friends and family. It also allows out of town friends and relatives a chance to attend the shower, celebrate with the family and meet the baby all in one visit. When in doubt, ask the mother-to-be when they'd like the party to be held.
Once you have a date, the fun begins with planning the details of the shower as there are many types of baby showers that can be thrown. You can have a family only, female only, couples, coworkers etc. and you can pick almost any theme.
Hosting a Baby Shower
Baby showers are traditionally hosted by a close friend of the expectant couple, but showers may also be hosted by relatives, co-workers, fellow parishioners, neighbors, etc. Because the person that plans and invites the guests to the baby shower is the one responsible for paying it is usually considered her gift.
There is no one perfect place to host a baby shower. If you have a home large enough to accommodate all of the guests, then that may be the best option. What is most important is to pick a location where the mother would be most comfortable.
Multiple Hosts
If a baby shower is being hosted by more than one person, it is traditional to list the person’s name, at whose home the shower will be held, first when referring to the hosts, then the other hosts in alphabetical order. For example, if the baby shower is being held at Julie's home but Sarah and Jennifer are co-hosting, the hosts would be listed as follows on the invitation:
(Casual, small baby shower gathering)
Julie, Jennifer, and Sarah
invite you to help welcome the birth of
Tami's child with a
Baby Shower at
Julie's home on
Saturday, August 1st
12 o’clock noon
10048 Northeast 2 nd Street
Bellevue , Washington
For more formal, larger gatherings where the baby shower is being held at a location other than a person's home, list the hosts in alphabetical order:
You are cordially invited to a
Baby Shower
in honor of mother-to-be
Tami Williams
Saturday, the first of August
at twelve o’clock noon
Bellevue Yacht Club
One Lake Washington Drive
Hosted by Jennifer, Julia and Sarah
Choosing a Theme
Selecting a theme for the baby shower may seem daunting at first, but it needn't be elaborate. The theme can range anywhere from "everything in baby blue" to "butterflies and dragonflies" to "New York Giants football." Another fun baby shower theme could be “Mothering around the clock” where guests are asked to purchase a gift that would be appropriate for the time of day tucked within their baby shower invitation. If a guest receives 12:00 noon, they may choose to buy bottles or something for feeding time.
Other fun baby shower themes to keep in mind…. Playtime (gifts for games and educational toys), Baby Safety (gifts to keep baby safe), Pamper Mommy (gifts to help take care of mommy, too), Nursery (anything to do with nursery rhymes), Alphabet (each guests gets a letter of the alphabet – B = bottles, bunnies etc)
If the mother-to-be has decided on a decorative design for the nursery, the theme of the baby shower can reflect that design and provide a hint to guests what colors or themes to keep in mind while shopping for the perfect gift. Whatever the chosen theme, the host can build upon it when choosing baby shower invitations, coordinating decorations, napkins, plates, favors, games to be played, and even the food to be served.
Since the baby shower invitations set the tone of your event, the invitations you select should convey that theme to your guests. Some guests may even incorporate your theme with their baby shower gift. There are so many baby shower invitations (please link) at MyGatsby.com to choose from, you may even want to base your theme on your favorite invitation.
Selecting the Invitation
The baby shower invitations will be the first hint for the guests of what the theme of the baby shower will be. If the expectant couple has found out the sex of the baby, choosing an invitation in pink (or one with pink accents) will undoubtedly announce that they're expecting a girl. The invitation will also tell the guest how formal of an event the baby shower will be – an elegant typeface with formal wording and location alerts the guest that the shower will be a sophisticated event; conversely, a whimsical invitation with informal wording and at a friend’s home tells the guest the baby shower will be a casual affair. A formal invitation should be accompanied by a separate RSVP card and stamped envelope for the guest to respond with; a casual invitation might include the increasingly common "Regrets Only" phrase with a telephone number and/or email address.
If mom and dad already have a name picked out for the newborn and are comfortable with telling people the name, you are more then welcome to use it on your baby shower invitations.
To help the expectant mother respond in gratitude for all the gifts she has received at the baby shower, have each guest address an envelope with their information. Drop all of the envelopes in a bowl and draw a winner for a prize. The guests are eligible for a gift and the mother-to-be has half of the note writing process complete!
As a gift to the expectant mother, order coordinating thank you notes. They'll make the process of thanking the guests much easier, and she'll be reminded of the care you took in planning and hosting the baby shower with each note that she writes.
Who to Invite
When creating a guest list for a baby shower, it is best to ask the mother for a list of whom she would like to invite or at least have her look over a list you have created. Some mothers may want to have a smaller more intimate shower while others will want to celebrate with all of their friends and family. If you are a coworker wishing to throw a “coworkers” shower, then you shouldn’t be expected to invite her family or friends outside of work.
Wording for Baby Shower Invitations
Here are some ideas from the MyGatsby Word Wizard to help you create wording for your
baby shower invitations:
Adoption
Parents who are adopting a child have the same needs as those having a child of their own, and they will appreciate the generosity of friends and family just as much. A baby shower can be thrown for a child of any age – if the child is a toddler, the host may choose to call the party just a "shower" or a "welcome party." It's recommended that a shower for an adopted child be held after the child has been brought home. When selecting the wording for the invitation, state when the child was born and when the child was welcomed into the home of the parents:
Please join us
as we celebrate the arrival of
Jessica Lynn
Born January 18, 2004
and welcomed into her parent's hearts and home
on April 4, 2004
Listing the birth date of the child alerts guests to the child's clothing size and provides guidance for buying age-appropriate gifts. If the child was adopted from a foreign country, information about his or her birth country may also be included
Please join us
as we celebrate our daughter’s arrival
Jessica Lynn
who has come from Romania
to join our family
Born January 18, 2004
and welcomed into her parent's hearts and home
on April 4, 2004
Choosing a Day and Time
There is no standard day or time for hosting a baby shower, although most are held in the evening or on weekends so that working friends and family are able to attend. The chosen theme may influence the timing of the event (a tea party should be held in the afternoon), as may the location (a baby shower hosted by co-workers in an office conference room should be held at or close to the end of a business day). The expectant mother may have a preference about the time: if she's still experiencing morning sickness, she may request that the shower be held in the late afternoon or early evening when she's typically feeling well.
Directions and Maps
Regardless of the formality of the baby shower, all baby shower invitations should include detailed directions for getting to the shower and a map that clearly shows where the shower will be held. Be sure to include the address and a phone number for directions on the direction card in case that’s the only part of the invitation they grab on the way out of the door. Select a paper color and style that complements the invitations.
Enclosures and Baby Registries
Registering for baby supplies, clothing, and even furniture is becoming increasingly common. Since the word “shower” infers “showering the mother with gifts,” it is okay to indicate on an enclosure card included with the baby shower invitations where the parents-to-be have registered. An Example for Registry wording could be: "Betsy and James have completed a registry at _________." It is also acceptable to include the pre-made invitation enclosures that some stores provide. It is not appropriate to include a list of desired items. You may also opt to inform guests where the mother is registered when they RSVP to the event.
When to Mail Invitations
Whether you are throwing the baby shower before or after the baby’s due date the baby shower invitations should be sent 4-6 weeks before the shower date giving your guests time to mark their calendars, pick out the perfect gift and enjoy and afternoon with the mother-to-be! If the shower is being held close to a holiday or during the summer months, mail the invitations five or six weeks in advance.
Surprise Baby Shower
Almost everyone loves a surprise, and (most) expectant mothers are no different. Planning a surprise baby shower for the mother-to-be allows her to have absolutely no role in the preparations – all she can do is enjoy the festivities! Of course, if the mother-to-be is the type of person that doesn't like surprises, it is best plan the baby shower with her knowledge.
If you are throwing a surprise baby shower, there are several ways to include that information on your baby shower invitations. “Mother knows that baby is on her way… but she doesn’t know we’re showering her with gifts for baby to play!” You can also start out with, “Shhh, It’s a Surprise!”
The Couples Baby Shower
In recognition of the father's involvement in the life of the child, many baby showers are co-ed. When planning a couples’ baby shower, it's important to make sure that the theme of the party and any planned activities are inclusive, enjoyable, and engaging to both men and women. Men are less likely to wear a pacifier around their neck or gaggle over bonnets and bassinets. Be sure the expectant father would like to be included in the baby shower and if so, plan a game he would enjoy. One such game is to ask the father what he thinks baby’s favorite sport will be and other such questions. Then ask the guests to guess what father picked. The one who guesses the same as father wins!
Second and Third Babies
Baby showers are typically not thrown for women expecting their second or third child, primarily because it is presumed that the mother will already have many of the essential items typically given at baby showers. However, the birth of every child is cause for celebration. Instead of a large gathering focused around the giving of gifts, plan a small get-together of close friends that centers around an activity (such as pampering manicures and pedicures) or enjoying a new or favorite restaurant. Guests may choose to bring a token gift if they like. If the parents insist they do not need any gifts you can word your baby shower invitations as such. Simply print, “No gifts, please,” at the bottom of the invitations. Your wording could also read “Please shower us with the gift of your presence…”
Gay and Lesbian Couples
More and more gay and lesbian couples are choosing to have children, either through adoption or, in the case of lesbian couples, by one of the women giving birth. The guidelines for throwing a baby shower for a gay or lesbian couple are generally the same as they are for a heterosexual couple or single mother, with the exception of the "in honor of" wording on the invitation. For gay and lesbian couples, it is appropriate to list both of the parent's names on the invitation.
Grandparent's Baby Shower
Although not as elaborate or as common as the baby showers thrown for expectant mothers, grandmothers and grandfathers frequently are the focus of celebratory gatherings among close friends or colleagues. For these showers, the gifts are given to the grandmother or grandfather but may be meant for either the expectant mother or the new baby. Gifts may also be intended to stay at grandma or grandpa's house for when the child visits: bassinet, activity rocker, books, toys, etc.
Getting Situated
Name tags are a great way for people to feel comfortable at a large baby shower or one where the guests may not know one another. You can print the tags with the theme of the shower or have guests draw their own duck or rattle on their name tag.
The baby shower host will be busy with many details the day of the shower, but it is important to have everything ready when guests begin to arrive. The host should greet guests at the door, welcome them to the event and give them direction as to where to put their purse and get settled.
When planning the seating arrangements at a baby shower, make sure you have enough seating for everyone invited and be sure to set aside a comfortable chair for the expectant mother. Ask someone to be in charge of passing the gifts to the mother and someone else to keep track of who they are from. You will be the hostess with the “mostess” if you have that arranged for her!
Depending on how many guests are invited to the baby shower, the hostess should make sure that the celebration stays in motion. Make sure that the games, eating, gift opening etc. are somewhat scheduled so that the baby shower is a festive celebration and not a drawn out weekend afternoon.
Baby Shower Gifts
Even if you are hosting a baby shower with a lot of guests, it is important that time be allowed for gift opening. The shower is to help prepare the parents for their new baby and many people go to quite a bit of trouble to elaborately wrap the perfect gift. Guests are looking forward to seeing the look on the expectant mother’s face upon opening their gift and will feel appreciated hearing in person how much it is liked. It is also fun for the rest of the guests to see all of the items that the mother has received – isn’t that the fun of baby showers?
Many things expectant parents will need for their baby are expensive and otherwise out of guests’ price range. One helpful thing a hostess can do is to suggest a gift that several guests can purchase together. Guests will be able to afford something special and the expectant parents can receive the car seat or crib to keep their child safe.
Games
Playing games at the baby shower is a wonderful way to break the ice and encourage guests to get to know one another. Having a quiz about the expectant mother is a great way for guests to learn more about her: Who was the first person she told that she was pregnant? How many weeks pregnant is she? Did she and the father agree on a boy's or girl's name first? Another traditional baby shower game doubles as a gift for the expectant mother: fill a tray with a number of different baby items, set it in the middle of the room for a minute or two, then take it away and ask guests to write down as many of the items as they can remember. Or orchestrate a taste test contest of baby food – you may be surprised at what you can and cannot identify! Offer small prizes to the winners.
Don’t be afraid to use the baby shower invitations as an introduction to the game playing at the shower. Ask them to bring a baby photo to the shower and play a game trying to match the baby photo to each guest. There are all sorts of ways you can get them to participate in the fun.
Games at a baby shower are great ice breakers, however check with the mother-to-be before planning any games as she may feel differently. The mother may just prefer the guests sign in a guest book over playing any games. To put a spin on the guest book, you could have each guest create a baby shower scrapbook page and place the photos in later.
Favors
Giving guests a favor at the end of the baby shower serves as a small token of appreciation for their gift and for their involvement in the celebration. Favors can be as simple or as elaborate as desired and can range from a small bag of candies tied with ribbon to a picture frame. Bubbles wrapped with a custom label are another cute keepsake. The choice of the favor can be an extension of the baby shower theme, or can be something general like a fragrant bar of soap.
Expectant mothers should be sure to thank each guest as they leave the baby shower. Having the favors near the door is a perfect way to gather before everyone leaves and gives the mother a chance to say goodbye to everyone who attended.
Food and Beverage
Because friends and family will be mingling and visiting during the baby shower, appetizer and finger foods are generally served. However, it is perfectly appropriate to serve a meal appropriate to the time of day, especially if you are hosting the event at a country club tea room. Even if you are serving mostly finger food, be sure there is enough seating and tables for your guests to sit down and eat. Many people come dressed to a baby shower in a nice outfit that they wouldn’t want decorated with deviled eggs or frosting. For beverages, it is most traditional to serve a delicious punch and/or tea. Alcoholic beverages are not usually appropriate as the mother-to-be will be left out, although cocktail parties have been thrown on occasion instead of a traditional baby shower.
When planning the menu for a baby shower, you should take into consideration the time of day that shower will be occurring. If your guests are arriving at 11:00 am, they will be expecting to have brunch or lunch served at the event. If your baby shower invitations indicate 2:00 pm as the commencement hour, light appetizers and punch would be appropriate.
Potlucks are a fun way to allow friends and family to be involved in the baby shower and to relieve some of the costs. You can create a menu from which people can pick the dish they would like to make or you can ask everyone to make their signature dish.
Hostess Gifts
Hostess gifts are a common gesture of thanks given by the guests or guest of honor to the host. In the case of baby showers, the mother-to-be is not expected to give a hostess gift to the hostess. If the mother-to-be would like to give a gift to the hostess, a bouquet of flowers or a small token of your appreciation would be appropriate.
Tips on Baby Showers
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